This October woukd have been my 20 year anniversary. Either that, or he has joined a hook-up site and has found a married woman in which to have these trounces with. But when new genes are brought into the picture (different partners like a new man or woman from somewhere else). I never would be type to look through his phone or anyones but I would do it to annoy him as he would look at mine as he knew what he had done and was always projecting his shortcoming. I pray that you are strong and wise in this relationship, and that you follow your heart and gut instincts. My husband did the same sort of things to me and he was definitely cheating. (Gross, I know.). To not have their lies be uncovered or mixed up. I pray you find strength, wisdom and peace. I want him to move. Im thinking about leaving. Over the past three months, he has become defensive over things that dont make sense. I hope this helps. It takes courage and strength to be honest about your marriage, especially if you suspect your husband is cheating and lying to you about his affair. There are TONS of good men. I dunno who to talk to or just confront him cos he might leave me. For years, your husband has been living a lie. I just wish he could feel more secure with me and tell me he talks to girls, but they are just friends, and I know I need to tell him how I feel How do I find out if he is still pursuing other girls? He mentioned to them that he was leaving me. Always believe your husbands nonverbal cues, especially if you suspect hes lying about cheating. when i got pregnant he made an appointment for me to abort it despite him being so religious and pious (the main reason I married him). All the proof was on his credit card from work. He had too much free time and was making good money. Put simply, if he has been cheating, this tool is likely to make it immediately obvious. Please help! He won't try and rush you through this first stage of healing and reconciliation. He never put me first. Max* never really gave me a proper explanation for leaving me. sorry I loath hate it with a burning passion . Good luck follow ur gut not all those other fluttery feelings u matter and u deserve to be truly loved!! I made a choice to envite another woman into my bed. Thats just one of the curious findings of a new study on the factors that predict infidelity. I soon found out what sorry I left marks meant. I told her, no, you made a nasty choice. The hardest part for me right now is letting it go. He even wrote that he dreams about her and he is always elated to receive emails from her. http://www.marketwatch.com/story/5-apps-for-spying-on-your-spouse-2014-03-10. The pictures on her profile were all bikini pictures. It sounds like your marriage is pretty much finished unless your very forgiving. I had checked his phone log and found a call to her house 15 minutes long and once again I confronted her and him with it and they claimed it was all business. We had one of the worst yelling matches ever! She paused and gave him the phone and he was laughing talkin about he was just playing with me. It hurts me to read everyones storiesbut I have to say, it did help knowing there are others, like myself, that are going through very similar situations. I believe that if you think your husband is cheating, then he probably is. I have confronted him and he still denies anything is going on. I dont know why I tried for years and years and hoped that someday it would get better. I am terribly sorry to say ladies, men do not like being spied upon either. Here for the kids. I know the pain is deep when we lose trust in our husbands. Why Couples Fail After an Affair: A Four Part Series. Hi! Im on the brink of a divorce and we havent even been married a week. If my BFF accused me of having an affair with her husband I would be concerned about what I did to make her feel that way, she was not. For both men and women, personality characteristics and interpersonal factors are more relevant predictors than are religion, marital status, education or gender. I worry, he might be cheating on me as well (reaching out to other women). It pains me to know that he is in search of women to have sex with. Or, if you have a hobby like painting or sculpting, use this creative outlet to work through any emotions youre going through. He was emotionally and physically abusive as well as sexually (to me not our daughter) He constantly cheated on me throughout my pregnancy up until my girl was 2 and I finally left him. Im sorry, but I dont understand why youre staying with this man. Wow Christine. He would say nothing happened your stupid dont think that. :). Thanks, Crazy Lady. Thinking that I had known everything now and maybe we could be stronger, I married him. He was force to tell his wife and the polices his affairs, his one nightstands and what he did to meAfter all this, do I regret telling his wifeNO. I think its progress that he admitted to this and did so as an attempt to save our marriage. I am heavily pregnant and have 2 months left till I give birth.I found messages of him calling her baby and saying he really cared about her.she didnt say anything like that back so I messaged her to see what was going in and it was jakes friend that we uses to hang round with together. You are worth more. He says that he loves nothing more than me and they meant NOTHING to him then the pure satisfaction of nailing other woman like a macho man does. Neither people may not be exactly pious, so how would it be to sit down and discuss how it hurts? Ive been with my husband for 23 years, married for 18 years. But I shrugged it off and when I asked him arent you worried about getting in trouble with work? Even now after three months he says he is physically not attracted to her anymore. Whats the best option for me? I discovered, after several months, people dont respond well to ultimatums, and all he did was talk to her behind my back. Last 2 weeks again, i saw a picture on his whattsaap, when i asked him, he said it was his late sisters daughter, when i made my investigation, i discovered it was another lie from my cheating husband. We dont live together, but (two times ) when were talking on the phone while everything is so crazily amazing his phone rang and he did not pick up the phone, which is odd since sometimes he does. I think about him a lot, more than I should. The other women also sent several pictures of herself in sexy poses to him. He came out and told me he apologized said it was only one time and he felt so bad afterwards he didnt know what to do. There is so much emotional turmoil in your comments, so much confusion, pain, hurt. I cried and cried and then cried some more. They don't want to hurt them anymore than they already have. I was truly taken advantage of at a very vulnerable time, he added a LOT more severe emotional pain & acted like he could care less about hurting me worse! Are you okay? I believe he loved me but not want you and I think love should be. He said he had worked with this girl many years ago and they were friends then. We never fight and we just never have any issues. She said he didnt tell her he was married and i didnt see no more contact between them.He sweairs its coz he wanted to try his sexual ability with another woman since he used to be very sexual and suddenly not. That strength lies in all of us. i asked why he said that somebody at his office said he looked better with it off. All I can do is give you a few things to think about, and encourage you to talk to a counselor or friend that you trust. So you can see where Im thrown off. I hope you do. In this situation, you might hear a comment like: "I know that my husband has been cheating with a coworker. I will keep you in my prayers! About a year before he left to go out of state for work, we all got Facebook pages. Trust me, in your heart, or in that spot 2 inches behind your belly button, you can feel it. I knew it but didnt want to believe my marriage was over. Look at how his surrounding and your surrounding is treating you when you are with him. Jul 22, 2012 at 4:39 PM. My husband and I have been married almost a year now. I know. I even overheard him talk to his friend about: when the last time youve seen (them)? And, my husband called out the age the child was. .remind her that she is always worth the effort and the romance for a month and I bet your whole relationship will change for the better! He said I wasnt paying attention to him etc. I screamed at him why? BUT having said that, I hate him deeply as well. He didnt tell me all this while until after the phone call. Ive been with the same man for almost thirty years, and really do hate to break it to other women, but men cheat. I go to his facebook messages. If you accuse him habitually of cheating or have insecurity issues and take them out on him and he has been patient all along, he would begin to get upset once your accusations are amped up in intensity and start to happen everyday. Now his ex lives in the same town as his school is in. Know that one day you will be done with all this, and you will be wiser, more compassionate, and healthier than youve ever been before. my boyfriend gave a girl the eating out gesture and didnt know I saw so when he looked at me he pretended to be funny and stuck his tounge out at me.. what do I do? You are correct in saying that something is wrong. But to me, I will never ever trust him anymore. but he did stop talking to her because he knew it made me feel uncomfortable. I dont let him have power over me like he used to. This past December, there was a woman who came up to us at the bar and introduced herself to me. he said he can haddle it we should just work out our problems then we got married . Tips on how to deal with a break up and move on with your life. He flat out tries to lie and deny but I know better. they also all sound similar. Any advice would be appreciated! In the last few months my husbands behavior has changed, consistant flirting, he tells half truths or white lies and when I complain about his behavior toward other women he gets very aggressive professing hes not doing anything. Through the years I have heard many stories from co-workers about he and 2 of his close friends who chased women every weekend while in the bars, cheating over and over again. Let's pretend I have proof that your husband never had an affair and that this woman is just a super awesome work friend who makes him laugh. If course, she wouldnt . Not be raised in a dysfunctional family!!! Doesn't matter what its about (finding out his sexuality) he cheated on you with a man he sourced from the internet. Chris if you are 4 out of 5 of these things then perhaps you need to work on yourself and be more compassionate and understanding of the confusing mixed signals you are sending your wife. About a month into our relationship he became more interested infriends and drinking than me. He doesnt seem to care much about what Ive been doing. Since the discovery of an affair, it may be hard to believe that your spouse has any concern for you at all. I never knew he was a liar until after I married him. His addiction and i dont know how to help him. We had small children at the time and I mananged to keep the family together and he changed his ways.Fast forward to 2008. It broke my heart because I trusted him. Her being a huge narcissist. Over the years even after we got married back in 2013, our relationship has become more and more difficult. We talked about it and it was made clear that it was due to other factors of the current living situation that had nothing to do with each other. How do we gain back trust. How long will you let him treat you like that? Dont waste your time in a bad relationship. Theres a lot in these comments to suggest that women operate on projection: if we think youre cheating, it must be because we are cheating. Hello ladies I have been in my relationship for 6 yrs now and have two kids. I dont even like saying that because I think its sneaky and deceptive, but women have found out about affairs that way. I dont know what else to do!!!! Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you? Over time, it will help you work through your feelings and help you decide what your next steps should be. It means youre avoiding problems. I have been married for 17 yrs and found out about a year and half ago that my husband had two different women emailing him pictures of themselves naked. I dont even know how many women hes been with. I confronted him of course he claims to be sorry and it will never happen again. They shared lovely emails and text messages which my husband always deleted. Is it unfortunate? His ex gf posted pics of my bf and her on facebook holding each other. He gets very defensive when i bring anything up. So he stood and never really apolygized. He just checked out of the marriage . She texts me a lot but not as much as she does him. I know if I ask any of his friends or their wives any questions they will tell him. He wouldnt leave around the same time she would leave. He refused to stop communicating with her. this set off many alarms. My sister in law told me she posted somee pictures of the two of us on facebook so I went to go check them out. The other day I told him I feel like Im on a roller coaster, up and down all the time, Im tired and want off, he began to tear up and said he cant loose me. He is not behaving in any way that should gain your confidence. If you have children, you do not want to show them this as an acceptable way to treat people, or allow yourself to be treated. I WORK AT A MEDICAL FACILITY AND THERE ARE CONSTRUCTION MEN IN AND OUT A VARIOUS TIMES. I think you should get out of this relationship as soon as possible. How are is it so sure? Then he still lied, about not seeing her. What should I do? I know I should trust my instincts but after 20 yrs? He is a marine, so he had to go to work in another country. As I write to you, hes late to come home again.Yes, we usually have sex ones every week or every two weeks, that is only if I initiate it. My husband has been seeing this other woman for about 6 months now. Your subconscious is picking up on signs that your conscious mind cant take in. to him he loves me but cannot do anything to please me,he calls me a controller anytime i confront him about anything.now i am almost due for delivery of our first child and all he does is to stay out the whole day and go clubbing at night.he claims he does business even in the night and will probably have no money for us when he stops his night escapades. 1st clue that there was evidence! well i think i just have been sdestroyied after so much time well that last chic about 3 years ago what i caught was texts and phone logs of times he called. Hes had a cold, so I dont know if he was cleaning up or what. Little did I know, he was waiting for the right moment to assault me. I checked his phone and he had deleted the calls to and from her from his phone but I found them on the internet bill. His job is one where he doesnt have to check in with anyone really, but he spends all his time away from home. 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