Technically, I pulled myself over. He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him. I know but it makes me look cool in front of the other kids. 1. The bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over or I eat you. Seriously, he's been teetotal for months now. THAT'S SO COOL! Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. There it gets converted to 11 . 20. Your misguided opinion is false but cute. After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you? These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. 11. Is a shot of tequila related to a shot of penicillin? "Hey you two!" Below you can find some example responses to a bad review. Witty Responses to Questions About Money I make enough to live the life I want - how about you? If I had a tail, I'd wag it. By 8:00 a.m. Iiames sent the daily Smoke Outlook to the ICT, the California Air Resource Board, state and regional partners, then posted online for public access on EPA's AirNow website. A man goes hunting and runs into a bear. Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.). 1. Since basketball is named such why isnt golf named golfball? 9. 16. 11. Does everyone who says the Pledge of Allegiance really make a pledge? I was the best teacher ever. Remember that time when I said you were cool? It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Dunno, just a guess. Hey Santa, tell me a story. 9 yr. ago Exactly. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? I can't stand high maintenance women. Enjoy! Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. I may not be perfect, but at least Im not you. When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". My supervisors are happy with me. If youre like most people, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing. What happens when wildfire tells you a joke? I love her because she is so smart and always tries to learn new things. Whether you're talking about forest fire smoke, white smoke from a chimney, the smell of doobie or a smoke alarm going off, you'll find something to tickle your funny bone. Do you believe in God? Is a heart attack the same as an attack of the heart? I know it's a complex love, but love is there, without any doubt. Theres still time for things to go horribly wrong. Don't act as if you know nothing about what's happening. You bag 'em, we tag 'em. Was discussing the power of positivity with family members. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. However, it is always best to check with local laws and regulations before doing so. Just be aware that there still could be some consequences. Im high-quality, organic, and 100% grass-fed. 18. "well the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane.". So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. The mother smiled and replied, Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a little seed. Thats because fire is something that happens or is an outcome of wood, paper, or other resources (the thing) becoming hot and releasing vapors. The warthogs have outdone us all.". Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. 3. 2. I can't stand high maintenance women. 7. The janitor lady just asked me to smoke some weed with her. First, the car must be able to fit within the space designated for buses. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say Does the Pope wear a tall hat?. Shhh! Top 10 Funniest Smoke Jokes and Puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up. 2. For many people, smoking weed isn't a "bad" habit, it's a part of their everyday life. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. After all, in the bible it says "if a man lies with another man, he should be stoned.". Obama Yea I Smoke Blunts Funny Image. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? Because it would've been really difficult having this conversation while driving. ", "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy smoking with people who love weed. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". Example #7: Specificity Is Crucial ), 30 Hilarious Jokes To Make You Look Like AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories That Will Make You Believe In TheParanormal. "Yep," the bartender replies. If they ask you why say: Cause it looks like you landed on your face!. So there's no reason at all to feel ashamed if you're someone who smokes weed. I also really like her style she always looks so put together and classy. The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. That is where most accidents happen. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". They asked him: why do you always smoke 2 cigarettes together? Well, then I think your stable is burning. By Terri Peters. 12. I was wondering where it was going then, BANG. I have more than I can spend, it's a difficult problem to have. He was found guilty. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. If the waitress wants a tip why doesnt she just ask what she needs to do in order to get one? ", "A list of reasons why you should stop smoking weed. Why not take today off? How else would you be able to understand me? Watch popular content from the following creators: just.that.one.human(@just.that.one.human), Random stuff(@urgirlclem), Hoi(@itsyaboieli123), jlo(@jenny.bronxbaby), E(@random_tips1311), Charly Rich(@charlespoke), xo.girlyvibez(@xo.girlyvibez . 13. There are some incredibly dumb people in this world. My grandfather always said, Fight fire with fire.. 10. You're a hunk'a burnin' love. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. 2. It's one opinion, not a life sentence. Later, when he sees an older priest puffing on a cigarette while praying, the younger priest scolded him, You shouldn't be smoking while praying! Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. but then i saw a sign that said "keep off the grass" and felt judged. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. 16. Wait for your turn. Besides funny responses, there are dozens of Google Home games that you can enjoy if you put the following funny commands to your Google Assistant. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. If I were doing any better, it'd be illegal. He must be part of some extreme mist group. Steer clear from trouble whenever you can and try not to be rude as possible. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Amazing what showering can do for you. a. less than 1 cigarette per day b. I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time! These are just a few of the many compliments people give one another on a daily basis. David Emis the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. Are you a man or a woman? She was worried about all that second hand smoke, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. He said: no, I stopped smoking. Why dont we call a jumping jack a jumping jump? "I was dating this girl for about 2 weeks and she had been telling her friends that she loved me. ", "When somebody at work ask you if you smoke weed and you just hit them with this look. Id slap you, but that would be animal abuse. I lied. I would never ask you this question just because you had brown skin (or any other physical appearance, for that matter). Your typical response is that youre doing good or fine. Until I asked her for some papers and she ran off. Fire broke out at a local marijuana farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch. 80.85 % / 634 votes. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. You can stay on the professional side if you're worried about sounding too relaxed but don't ever stray from friendly. Do you eat too much? Spice things up with witty and funny responses. When they get inside they see an Irishman passed out from smoke inhalation. You're hilarious." "I'm speechless. I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women, So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. His toys? Bark like a dog. For the rest of your time on this island, I am obligated to grant each of you one wish per year. ", And when they say "did she smoke her whole life" I say "no, but she was real good at minding her own business". After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays! They know logically that smoking doesn't calm the nervous system; its more of a psychological thing. Why is chocolate ice cream called chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not called yellow? Bacon will kill you. Security stops him and says, There are no firearms allowed in this building.. 3. Im going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there? It also is fun to say to your friends. Reply. 10. Nirvana. You'll have to step outside to smoke." 2. Which English king invented the fireplace? I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and my ears started ringing, I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker, I was going to smoke a cigar on International Womens Day. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. I don't think you're that bad. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." Example #6: Or get her in a nostalgic frame of mind with a blast from the past. Remember that a bad review only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren't met. Because I was driving like an asshole. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Well, me neither. The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. You are so funny!" LOL. Look who is talking. 5. the guy asks. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Do you smoke? He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. Click here for more information. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. He's probably part of an extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. RELATED:These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." It's work. His high sch, Two firemen are "going at it" (sex) in a smoke filled room. 1. If a picture is worth a thousand words, what would a mural be worth? I rubbed the side to give it a clean, and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke I love you with every single drop of my blood and water in my body. I usually smoke Marlboro but who could resist an offer like that? Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women. 9. No. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." 1: You got a lighter? * I didn't even do anything! But no wishing anyone, including yourself, off the island.". 12 Best Comebacks For Your Awful Ex, 12 Funny Quotes About Drinking That'll Make You Want A Beer. What do you smoke when you're underwater? Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. Because you got straight Cs in high school. Because I have this thing on my butt cheek. Earlier they had to share one cigarette between the four of them, that's ju, When the jar was opened, a genie came out and said to them, "You have freed me from my jar. The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in". Breathe. Explosive says: September 19, 2016 at 11:02 am . Youll find clever, sarcastic, witty, and funny responses to the question, How are you?. "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.". On the inside of a fire hydrant, youll find H2O. Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks. Does it have anything to do with the corpse in the trunk? I totally understand now why you feel that way. Do you want to summary or long version? I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. 11. He went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and other health risks. But, it doesnt continue the conversation. 2. 3. But no one respects a quitter. "You would have been 28 by now. I love you (Itll catch them off guard). Upright and sucking air. *"Yeah I know. If you are on a diet how do you feel about the first three letters in the word? Basically, fire is awesome. 2. This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. But I do like digesting information. That's their problem. I've got something I need to say. I think smoking isn't a bad habit until its under your control. Mirrors dont lie, and lucky for you, they also dont laugh. 25. 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. Weve got a lot of mean-spirited people in the world already. ", "Oh, you don't smoke weed? 4. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Even though you don't admit it. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Just so you know, this conversation is being recorded. Id be much better if you gave me a kiss. What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ? "That's amazing," the woman said. Why is a roller-coaster called such when it doesnt roll and it doesnt coast? Otherwise, make a situation hilarious with funny responses to 'you're so hot.', like these: 1. Lesson learnt The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money. All tractor-themed. Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. No Smoking Funny Sign Image. Let's have a game of Tic Tac Toe. If you enjoy having fun then this list is for you. $2.72 $2.04 ( Save 25%) Live Fast Eat Trash Funny Raccoon Camping RSVP Card. 3 packs at $10 a pop? "How did Thanksgiving go at your place?" What happens when you tell someone to take a hike and youre on an airplane? ", I thought for a second before answering "Nope, still don't smoke. I have five fingers, and the third one is for you. Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a number of health benefits. Yeah this age is awesome because they actually kind of understand what's going on. Reply. [removed] I can't wait to reach that moment. One liner tags: drug, life. Im dancing along to the rhythm of life. Its a question that comes up daily. But in order to write a smart response to a bad review, your head needs to be clear. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. Siri: Don't let my voice fool you: I don't have a gender. Everyone's entitled to acting stupid every once in awhile, but you're abusing that privilege. RELATED:The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh Bigly.